I think it’s a cliche, though a true one, that we go through life pretending that we don’t need other people, discovering occasionally that we are both happier and more effective when we ask for help and let us others contribute to us on a regular basis. I think the Landmark Forum has people suffer less by having them be more aware of this than usual! Here’s one woman’s experience:
Love is Free
I have this act of pretending like I don’t need anyone and I don’t need anyone’s help to get where I want to go in life. This is absolutely not true, I need everyone’s help to get where I want to go as well as to sustain myself where I am at. The course I am taking through Landmark helped me to distinguish this act.
I have been taking a Landmark course for the past two months. I have not been focusing on the assignments and have not been getting as much out of the course as I could be. I had a bit of an awakening to how powerful the Landmark Education is last night when someone from the course got up to speak in front of the class about what he is seeing in his life. This man talked about how he is in love and united with everyone. About how when we view ourselves as separate from others we cut ourselves off from the love that is available to us. Then he pointed at me and said, “I am the same as Patty.” It was terrifying and amazing and and something just clicked for me when he said that. (I was wearing a name tag and sitting front and center thanks). I realized he is right. When I cut myself off from other’s love, shield myself from being hurt, try to control situations, I am myself off from the love that is cascading out everywhere.
Today I gave myself a spiritual practice. Everyday, for the next seven days, I am going to ask someone for help in a place I need it as well as clean up where my act has possibly damaged our relationship. I am then going to email five people who are also in the course I’m taking, and are a part of my smaller group at the course, and share with them what I have cleaned up.
Aron helped me come up with this spiritual practice. He was the first person I cleaned up with, our relationship has been mostly nonexistent for the past few months. I apologized for pulling away from and shutting down on him. He accepted graciously and also apologized for some of his behaviors. Then I asked him for help with one of my projects, that project being creating a web page for the house we live in. It was a very happy making event.
And bonus. He let me pluck his eyebrows a little bit.
