I don’t think I’ve laughed so hard in a long time. I was just reading the story of a woman whose husband did the Landmark Forum, and she and all of her husband’s co-workers were extremely suspicious of her husband’s supposed “transformation” — Until she did the course herself. It actually served as a reminder to me, that while I now accept extraordinary results and miracles in life as almost commonplace, that to most people achieving a change in outlook or a great result or becoming much happier in a short period of time is actually viewed with deep suspicion.
The husband took her suspicion quite amiably, which naturally made the woman more suspicious…I’ll be quiet now and put the post here.
Unstuft
A little over three months ago Chris went away for a weekend “business seminar” and came back with a new vocabulary, a bunch of apologies and big stupid smile on his face. I soon got the sense that they focused on more than just budget projections and marketing. In the days immediately following he went about trying to convince everyone that they had to do this thing he’d just done with a passion never before seen in him, and all they’d have to do was attend an information session with him that went for three hours on a Tuesday night.
Obviously he had snapped. He had been sucked into a pyramid sales scheme and in his blind enthusiasm couldn’t see how ridiculous he was being. Everyone around him took three large slow steps backwards, nodding and smiling politely and when he had finished his monologue about the life changing experience we would get from the seminar we all declared our complete satisfaction with our dysfunctional lives and gave him the room any man would need during a mid-life crisis.
Like a supportive wife I went along to the information session accompanied by fellow abductees, my mother and a guy who works with Chris, Darren. The information seminar, hosted by more smiling lunatics who, after just three days, now knew my husband well enough to kiss him, consisted of several other Forum disciples standing in front of microphones making ludicrously impossible declarations about the future of the lives while the rest of them sobbed in their seats like a Dr Phil audience. Then there was the question…the constant question between the disciples to each other…”Did you get it?”, ”Yeah, I got it”. Got fucking what? What? Nothing is so hard that it takes you 50 hours worth of seminar to get it!
As if this weren’t painful enough, after this, dozens of forum members descended on the abductees with registration forms and pens to sign us up for the next event.
With folded arms and pursed lips I firmly established that if I were ever going to do this thing (which was very unlikely) I would be doing it on my terms and not making any decisions inside this particularly uncomfortable pressure cooker. After placing ourselves in the corner of the room and making several jokes relating to animal sacrifice, Scientology and sex cults the torture came to an end and we took the long drive home, trying again to be as supportive as possible of my obviously misguided and confused husband.
While everyone else could achieve the safe recommended distance from my husbands obvious meltdown I of course was trapped in isolation with a madman. I began calling him “Teflon Man” as no matter how sticky the shit was that I was throwing at him nothing would stick. Certain phrases began being repeated by him in response to my tantrums and and frustration. ”Ok babe. I got it”, “Great, what ever you choose”, “I hear what your saying. I got it”. In short he had become untouchable.
He was already a well practiced passive aggressive before the forum so I took his new Teflon qualities to be a direct attack on my cyacism and proceeded to take my aggression to the next level. If he thought he could outwit, outplay and outlast me he had another thing coming. I would have to come down to his level and develop the same vocabulary as he is using so I can win this war. He thinks he so smart…and we both know I’m smarter.
So I signed up for the bloody course. I cursed every day in the lead up the thing and swore to god I was going to show these arseholes a thing or two. Abduct my husband and then return him to me as a fucking vegetable…I’ll learn your tricks and screw it up royally for the lot of you…Landmark Forum bullshit…brainwashing muthafuckers… ridiculous.
That was last week – before “I got it!”
I got it…I got it…I got it…and we’re signing up for the advanced course next year.
You can call us Mr and Mrs Teflon.
Almost forgot–Here’s a link back to the lady’s blog. I hope to read more from her about the specific results she’s accomplished, since she’s such a funny and talented writer.
